For people who don’t know you (and even most that do), your ringtones are just another way for you to be instantly judged. However, if you’re running a business, the judgment drastically amplifies from just thinking you’re another idiot who forgot to put their phone on vibrate to actually making dangerous assumptions about how you do your job. With that in mind, here are 20 ringtones that definitely send potential customers and clients the wrong message.

 

1.) Investment Banker
Take the Money and Run (Steve Miller Band)

 

Sample Lyric:

They got the money, hey
You know they got away
They headed down south and they’re still running today
Singin’ go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run

 

“Um, on second thought, I’ll just stick with a savings account.”

 

2.) Curves Franchise Owner
Fat Girl (NWA)

 

Sample Lyric:

Dropped tha double barrel, grabbed tha harpoon
As I swung, tha fat girl fell
Lyin’ on tha ave just like a beach whale
That’s tha story, it’s quite ill
and all fat girls y’all besta chill

 

“I’d like to sign up for a 12 month…hey, wait a second!”

 

3.) Gamblers Anonymous Counselor
Luck be a Lady (Frank Sinatra)

 

Sample Lyric:

Luck let a gentleman see
Just how nice a dame you can be
I know the way you’ve treated other guys you’ve been with
Luck be a lady with me

 

“I’ll bet you double or nothing I can beat my addiction.”

 

4.) Funeral Home Employee
Celebration (Kool & The Gang)

 

 

Sample Lyric:

There’s a party goin’ on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times, and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you

 

“I don’t think you’re as sorry for my loss as you said you were…”

 

5.) National Wheelchair Basketball Association Employee
Jump (Kris Kross)

 

Sample Lyric:

Jump Jump
The Mac Dad will make you Jump Jump
The Daddy Mac will make you Jump Jump
Kris Kross will make you Jump Jump

 

“Okay, now you’re just being a jerk.”

 

6.) Divorce Lawyer
Song for the Dumped (Ben Folds Five)

 

Sample Lyric:

Give me my money back
Give me my money back

 

“Actually…this guy might be really good.”

 

7.) Addiction Counselor
Rehab (Amy Winehouse)

 

 

Sample Lyric:

They tried to make me go to rehab but I said ‘no, no, no’
Yes I’ve been black but when I come back you’ll know know know
I ain’t got the time and if my daddy thinks I’m fine
He’s tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go go go

 

“I was hoping for Dr. Drew not Dr. Feelgood.”

 

8.) A Real Estate Agent
In the Ghetto (Elvis Presley)

 

Sample Lyric:

So he starts to roam the streets at night
And he learns how to steal
And he learns how to fight
In the ghetto

 

“I thought he said the neighborhood was ‘up and coming.’”

 

9.) Psychiatrist
Crazy (Seal)

 

Sample Lyric:

But we’re never gonna survive unless…
We get a little crazy.
No we’re never gonna survive unless…
We are a little…
Crazy…

 

“Well if Seal says so…consider this my last appointment.”

 

10.) Commercial Airline Pilot
Alone Again, Naturally (Gilbert O’Sullivan)

 

Sample Lyric:

I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top will throw myself off
In an effort to make it clear to who
Ever what it’s like when you’re shattered

 

“Wait? What’s this about plummeting to your death?”

 

11.) Surrogate Agency Employee
Papa Don’t Preach (Madonna)

 

Sample Lyric:

Papa don’t preach, I’m in trouble deep
Papa don’t preach, Ive been losing sleep
But I made up my mind, I’m keeping my baby, oh
I’m gonna keep my baby, mmm…

 

“On second thought…”

 

12.) Proctologist
Inside of You (Hoobastank)

 

Sample Lyric:

What do I have to do
To get inside of you?
To get inside of you?

 

“You could start by not creeping me out.”

 

13.) Judge
Folsom Prison Blues (Johnny Cash)

 

 

 

Sample Lyric:

When I was just a baby,
My Mama told me, “Son,
Always be a good boy,
Don’t ever play with guns,”
But I shot a man in Reno,
Just to watch him die

 

“Well isn’t this the pot calling the kettle black?”

 

14.) Oral Surgeon
Hurts So Good (John Mellencamp)

 

Sample Lyric:

Hurt so good
Come on baby make it hurt so good
Sometimes love don’t feel like it should
You make it hurt so good

 

“No way. No such thing. I’m outta here!”

 

15.) Mall Security Guard
Been Caught Stealing (Jane’s Addiction)

 

Sample Lyric:

I enjoy stealing.
It’s just as simple as that.
Well, it’s just a simple fact.
When I want something,
I don’t want to pay for it.

 

“Paul Blart you ain’t.”

 

16.) CEO of General Motors
Help (The Beatles)

 

Sample Lyric:

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won’t you please, please help me?

 

“Well this is surprisingly topical.”

 

17.) High School Teacher
We Don’t Need No Education (Pink Floyd)

 

Sample Lyric:

We don’t need no education
We don’t need no thoughts controlled
There is no sarcasm in the class room
Teachers leave them kids alone
(yells) hey teachers leave them kids alone!

 

“That’s exactly what I’ve been saying and you keep flunking me.”

 

18.) Fireman
Rock of Ages (Def Leppard)

 

Sample Lyric:

Burn it up lets go for broke
Watch the night go up in smoke
Rock on! (rock on!)
Drive me crazier, no serenade
No fire brigade, just pyromania, c’mon

 

“Suddenly my cat seems safer up in the tree.”

 

19.) Sex Addiction Counselor
I Kissed a Girl (Katy Perry)

 

 

 

Sample Lyric:

It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it.

 

“What felt wrong about it?”

 

20.) Any Business Owner. Ever.
I’m Too Sexy (Right Said Fred)

 

Sample Lyric:

I’m too sexy for my car
Too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far

 

“This person’s an idiot.”

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